Life

Disconnected

– When you feel lost and disconnected from God

By: Hina Murtaza

downloadBeing born in a Muslim family is a blessing. Parents instill in children the importance of following all five pillars of Islam. Belief in one true god that is Allah and his messenger Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), praying five times a day, keeping fasts during the month of Ramadan, giving Zakat (alms) and performing Hajj (at least once if a person is able financially and physically).

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Unfortunately there are some people who despite being born in Muslim families are unable to appreciate this blessing. They may be from practicing Muslim families but as individuals they feel detached or cut off from their religion and Allah . Let’s try to understand the possible reasons for this detachment or disconnection and what can be done for that. Lack of knowledge about Islam, weak Islamic belief system (weak Iman), absence of Islamic culture in the surroundings and having only non-muslim friends are some important reasons for feeling alienated.

Few people have in-depth knowledge of their religion. Usually people inherit religion from their parents as they inherit their genetic traits like skin color or color of eyes. They follow several or some teachings (depending on their level of Iman) that have been passed on to them from their parents.eid_16.jpg If they have been taught to say regular prayers, probably they will, otherwise chances are that they won’t. Same is the case with other pillars of Islam. They say their prayers and read the Holy book as a practice which was instilled in them when they were kids. But as adults they never made an effort to understand what their Holy Book says or five times prayer means. When one does something mechanically even daily without understanding, gradually that person will feel disconnected.

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Then, there are others who are not able to say their daily prayers regularly and fulfill other Islamic duties because they have a weak belief system. If a person has complete faith in his/her religion, he/she will abide by all the commitments of the religion. But if his/her Iman is weak then he/she will easily ignore the commitments. There can be numerous excuses including being busy with work or friends (who do not have to say prayers anyway because they are from other religions). Think about it, if something is really important, can it be ignored or forgotten? OF COURSE NOT! Lack of knowledge could be the main reason.

As a Muslim, does one know why he/she prays five times a day? What is being said in these prayers? What does it mean? Yes, at first it seems strange. Of course everything is known, prayers are said to thank and praise Allah, and ask for guidance along the straight path. But are the meanings of verses said five times a day understood by the person? If the meaning of all the verses said and actions performed during prayer are understood, it will make all the difference. It can be started right away. It is never too late. As a beginner, start with the meaning of surah Fatiha and after comfortably understanding it proceed to meanings of short surahs first, then to longer ones.

 

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Advancement in technology is a blessing in disguise for people who have an urge to strengthen their Iman. There are several social media websites as well as applications which can be utilized for this purpose. To learn surahs one can either read them online or download them.

Smartphones can be a great help in this regard as many people use internet on their smartphones. This makes learning surahs along with their meanings a piece of cake literally. All information related to Islam is just a click away now! Yes, people do get carried away at times. Advancement in technology also means that anything and everything can be watched whenever wanted without restriction. Whenever this urge arises, control yourself and strengthen your Iman by getting to know more about Islam. Seek repentance for wrong actions from Allah.

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Allah SWT is oft – forgiving.  Allah the Almighty said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (Tirmidhi)

“Indeed Allah loves those who repent and purify themselves.”  [Surah Al Baqarah, 2:222]

“Say: O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Surah Az-Zumar 39:53)maxresdefault.jpg

 

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LOVE – Given to be given back

By: Noorul Soraya

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“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him; and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honour.” (Surah Al-Isra’ – 17/23) 

 

The Holy Quran emphasizes in many Surahs, Allah decree on the treatment of our parents to be a mandatory act than a mere duty.  He has very clearly said that loving and caring for our parents comes right next to accepting His Oneness. In the above surah and in many other surahs related to parents, Allah places parents immediately after Him which goes to stress the depth of reverence that Allah  Himself pays to parents. He is more or less compelling us to care for our parents as a part of our Islamic belief.rsz_old_hands21.jpg The Prophet Muhammed (PBUH), His Apostle, in his many hadiths echoes Allah  decree with great reverence too. Therefore, it can be deemed that paying heed to those authentic voices from the Quran and the Prophet (PBUH) on caring for parents is part and parcel of being a Muslim; it is a `vital’ part of being a human being.

Every parent has their divine right to expect his or her children to care for them when they are aged and/or disabled. Looking out for parents used to be a traditional act that came down automatically from generation to generation. Lately, this feeling of tradition is slowly being replaced by a more modern and mechanical way of caring which is devoid of human interaction; they seem to be mere pawns on a chessboard that could be pushed around to the whims and fancies of children. A lack of understanding between past and current generations may be a cause for this confusion.

Parents’ love towards their children is unconditional and limitless from the moment a child enters this world. It is a mother’s warmth that embraces a new born child first. It is a fact to mention that the Quran states that Islam makes special mention of mothers for their endurance during hardship and suffering before, during and after childbirth.  It is also narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said that “Paradise lies at the feet of mothers” which stresses how much mothers need to be treated with love, gratitude and honour. A status of a mother is three times more than a father.

It was narrated that Abu Hurairah (RA) said: 

 A man came to Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) and asked, “Which of the people is most deserving of my best companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.”   (Hadith No. 5971, Book of Al-Adab, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8; Hadith No. 6500 (2548), Book of Al-Birr, Sahih Muslim, Vol. 6).

Parents love unreservedly. Age or marital statuses of their children play no part in this equation; to a parent, a child will always remain a child until death parts them.  It is every parent’s intention to give their best to their children even at the cost of their own well being and happiness.  They struggle, sacrifice and push themselves beyond their limits to simply fulfill their desires and beliefs that they need to provide their children with love and security with everything they possess. How does one reconcile such a selfless giving?

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Home for the Aged are thriving businesses filled with helpless mothers and fathers, who once hoped to be loved and cherished like they did their own children. This sight is a reality check.

Lack of proper religious training and a principled upbringing are causing confusion amongst the youth of today. Pushed to strive for excellence in every other aspect of their lives, the youth today, a breed between two generations, are fast losing their ability to nurture proper values in respect to caring for parents.  While they lay emphasis on securing an academic qualification, little or nothing is done to cultivate a sound religious education which is also crucial to maintain a balance personality. It is important that parents take the responsibility of inculcating true Islamic values so that children are not led astray, left emotionally unattended and lost amidst worldly accumulations.

1 (1)  Parents should never be taken for granted, be tools of negotiation or be stop-gap measures to fix situations. The youth of today must be educated about the important message of caring for the parents as a part of their religious belief and upbringing.  It is only then that we are able to teach them about patience, tolerance, understanding, and above all to engrave in their hearts that loving and caring for parents is an act of divinity and that any God fearing Muslim should follow.

Love and care for your parents for, it can only bring you good tidings. Be grateful to Allah for blessing us with parents for, He bestowed upon us His love and His promise of Paradise through them.

 

 

How to go to sleep – The Islamic Way

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 ABLUTION

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “When you go to bed, you should perform the ablution (wudu) like that for prayer, and then lay down on your right side. Then say:

“Allahumma aslamtu wajhi ilaika, wa fauwadtu Amri ilaika wa aljatu zahri ilaika, raghbatan wa rahbatan ilaika, lamalja’a wa la manja mink a ill a ilaika. Amantu bikitabi kalladhi anzalta wa bi nabiyyikal-ladhi arsalta”

(‘O Allah, I have turned my face to You and I have surrendered my self to You and I have committed my back to You out of fear and desire for You. There is no place of safety or refuge from You except with You. I have believed in Your book which You revealed and Your Prophet whom You sent.’)

If you die that night, you will die in fitra (natural state). And make these the last words you utter.’” [Bukhari]HandsFaucet.jpg

It is also reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Purify these bodies, and Allah will purify you. There is not a slave who spends his night in a state of purification except that an angel spends the night besides him. And whenever the slave turns over during the night, the angel says: ‘O Allah, forgive Your slave, for he went to sleep in a state of purification.’” [Tabarani, al-Mu`jam al-Kabir]

Nowadays some yoga experts, suggest washing certain parts of the body before going to sleep, since it has a cooling and calming effect on the nerves, helping you to get a good rest. However this practise was encouraged long ago as the Sunnah of Prophet  Muhammad (PBUH).

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DUST THE BED

Abu Hurayra said, “The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, ‘When one of you goes to bed, he should undo the inside of his lower garment and dust the bed with it. He does not know what has come on his bed since he left it… ” (Abu Dawud)

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SWITCHING OFF THE LIGHTS

The Prophet (saws) said: “Put out lamps when you go to bed, shut doors, and cover water and food containers“ (Bukhari).

turn_off_lights_19916160The use of electric lights with the subsequent elongation of the ‘daylight’ hours causes the pineal gland to release hormones that (among other potentially harmful changes) stimulates early puberty in young females. – Borysenko,1998.

Scientific study has discovered the importance of a dark environment for a good night rest. Melatonin is a chemical released by our brain which promotes sleep onset. Light affects the level of melatonin produced by our body, which begins to rise in the mid to late evening when it gets dark, remaining high for most of the night, and then dropping in the early morning hours.

So turning of all lamps, (even dim lights), when we sleep saves us from many problems caused by hormonal imbalances.

 

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SLEEPING POSITION

The Prophet of Allah (PBUH) used to sleep on his right side, putting his right hand on his right cheek, and this is what the Prophet (PBUH) recommended others to do.

As seen before also in the Hadith under ABLUTION it is mentioned, The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said,”Whenever you go to bed perform ablution like that for prayer, and lie on your right side.” (Muslim)

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Sleeping on the right side does not let the weight of stomach & intestine to suppress heart, it reduces the pressure and strain on the heart to pump blood. Hence blood circulation is not affected. It is also a good position for those with neck and back pain and pregnant women.

Furthermore it is forbidden and not recommended to sleep on stomach. Ya’ish bin Tikhfah Al-Ghifari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:  My father said: I was lying down on my belly in the mosque when someone shook me with his foot and said, “Lying down this way is disapproved by Allah.” I looked up and saw that it was Messenger of Allah (PBUH). [Abu Dawud].  According to another report, the Prophet (PBUH) prodded him with his foot & woke him up & said. “do not lie like this, for this is how the people of hell lie”, (reported bx Ahmad, Al-Fath Al-Rabban 14/244-245)

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RECITE

– Surah Al Mulk:  Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying:  “There is a Surah in the Qur’an which contains thirty Ayat which kept interceding for a man until his sins are forgiven. This Surah is ‘Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the dominion.’ (Surat Al-Mulk 67).”  [Tirmidhi]Daftar-Aplikasi-Al-Qur_an-Digital-Android-Yang-Cocok-Di-Bulan-Ramadhan00-700x376

-Three Kuls: ‘Aa’ishah reported that when the Prophet (PBUH) went to bed, he would cup his hands together, blow into them and recite into them Qul huwa Allaahu ahad [Surah al-Ikhlaas], Qul a’oodhu bi Rabbi’l-falaq [Surah al-Falaq] and Qul a’oodhu bi Rabbi’l-naas [Surah an-Naas] (these are the last 3 Chapters of the Quran – Translator). Then he would wipe as much of his body as he could with his hands, starting with his head and face, and the front of his body. He would do this three times. (Bukhari)

– Surah al Kafiroon: Prophet (PBUH) said, “Recite surah al Kaafiroon and then go to sleep after coming to its end, for it is a clearance from shirk.” (Dawud)
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DUA

Whenever the Prophet (saws) lay down for sleep at night, he would place his (right) hand under his (right) cheek and supplicate: “Allahumma bismika amutu wa ahya [O Allah, with Your Name will I die and live (wake up)].” (Bukhkari)

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Another Dua the Prophet used to recite is:

“Allahumma aslamtu wajhi ilaika, wa fauwadtu Amri ilaika wa aljatu zahri ilaika, raghbatan wa rahbatan ilaika, lamalja’a wa la manja mink a ill a ilaika. Amantu bikitabi kalladhi anzalta wa bi nabiyyikal-ladhi arsalta”

(‘O Allah, I have turned my face to You and I have surrendered my self to You and I have committed my back to You out of fear and desire for You. There is no place of safety or refuge from You except with You. I have believed in Your book which You revealed and Your Prophet whom You sent.’)

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Even simple acts such as going to sleep, can be done in a way that we earn the pleasure of Allah. Thereby earning rewards for them as well. All that is required is small effort from our side. For the amount of time we spend browsing our phones before bed, am sure following the above sunnahs before going to sleep shouldn’t be too hard.

 

One Year of Patience, Ten Years of Peace – Greek Proverb

  By: M. Tariq Miskin

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Everyone has heard of the phrase, “Patience is a virtue!” at least once in their lifetime. And every single person has undergone some kind of hardship throughout their life. No matter what the circumstances are, rich or poor, powerful or weak, Young or old, every human has had some kind of worry, anxiety, and depression at least once. But it is most likely that we as humans have been in these situations more than once. This is life!

According to Islam, life in this world is a qualification examination for the hereafter. More specifically, it is a series of tests which get harder and harder as time goes on. The tests we face in the early days of life are much simpler but as we get older it gets tougher. So we are told to brace ourselves for tough questions and learn from our mistakes from each previous test and apply it to the subsequent tests. This will guarantee a good result in the final examination on the judgment day. So what are the requirements to succeed in these tests which Allah has decreed upon us?

mortar-board-degree-certificate-books.jpgIn a university, to follow certain courses one needs to have completed pre-requisite classes to be eligible to follow that particular course. As an undergraduate student I had to follow many of these prerequisite classes before I could attend the core classes required for my degree. Similarly the tests we face in life have prerequisites as well. One such prerequisite of the ‘life test’ and one of the most important is patience. And I have first-hand knowledge of how the prerequisite “patience” has helped me in life general and particularly when I was reading for my master’s degree.

Allah says in the Quran:  “And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the cause of Allah) and As-Sabirin (the patient), and We shall test your facts (i.e., the one who is a liar, and the one who is truthful).”  (47:31)

Certainly, Allah tests all of us sometimes with the bounty and sometimes with the afflictions of fear and hunger. The test may also be by loss of lives, property, health, or wealth. Or we may be tested with not a loss but instead an increase in bounty. Different people are tested differently because Allah knows each and everyone us. For when the best and most righteous of us are tested to the extreme, they strive even harder in Allah’s cause. Allah is all knowing! Most wise!

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As a graduate student I was tested in way I have not experienced in my life before. There were so many hurdles to jump over. I was experiencing so many disappointments, worries, anxieties. On top of it I was away from my family for quite a period of the year, which in itself is a big test. This is where the ‘prerequisite’ of patience came in handy.

Allah also says: “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient).”  (1:155)

Allah has taught us that patience is the key to success.. He tells us He will test us with many hardships but if we have patience we will get glad tidings. Certainly in my case, I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel. All my hardships can be conquered by having patience. All I had to do was to keep faith in Allah, and continue my ibadah. The mercy of Allah cannot be quantified in human terms. And there is no doubting his mercy.

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So who does Allah say are the patient? Allah goes on to say: “Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” (1:156)

This means that those who recite this statement, “Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return,” to comfort themselves in the face of their loss and hardships, know that they belong to Allah and that He does what He wills with His servants. They also know that nothing and no deed, even if it was the weight of an atom, will be lost with Allah on the Day of Resurrection. Therefore they try to do more ibadah in the cause of Allah especially during such hardships.

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In the end, patience has indeed been rewarding for me. I finally see profit from my hardships as a master’s student. There is no denying that whatever Allah promises us in the Quran, He delivers on them. Allah never fails on His promise!

Are You Afraid Of Ghosts??

By: Mass Shiara Usuf

The very mention of an unexplained appearance or what’s very commonly called “a ghost” brings fear into the hearts of many, almost everyone. Most of us have heard of people mentioning that they had seen so and so, who had died, reappearing in the house or area where he had died. Some of us might even have experienced hearing somebody talk and sound the same as our dead uncles and aunts.ghostglass-300x247.jpg

Then we also have cases of dead people walking about, standing next to the bed of their loved ones, making strange and haunting sounds,  or also apparently talking to us through somebody using their own voices. I recently also came across the mention of a school being closed down because there was a “ghost” in the school.

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So what do we do now??? People die, but they seem to be coming back, and putting fear into our minds and hearts. A grandparent who might have been very dear to us, a lady whom we loved the most and who had loved us back, dies and seems to be haunting and having fun with it. Does that even make sense? Why would a person who loves us so much make us scared after they are dead? We see loved ones dying and we cry so much due to their demise. So why are we scared when they “apparently” come back? Shouldn’t we be head over heels over the fact that they are back? Its seriously a food for thought. Its high time to get this fear off of our hearts and find the logical Islamic explanation.

Do Souls Come Back?

At the moment of death, in Islam, the angel of death arrives to retrieve the soul from the body. This angel (Israel ASWS) is an angel that delivers the soul and takes it to the next realm of this world, namely, the Hereafter. There is evidence in the Quran to prove that once the soul is taken from the person, it is not given a second chance to return back to this earth. This evidence being a very strong evidence against the belief that dead people walk about freely on earth creating havoc.

Allah mentions in Surah Al-Muminoon (23:99-100):

 “Until, when death comes to one of them, he says: “My Lord! Send me back, So that I may do good in that which I have left behind!” No! (Kalla) It is but a word that he speaks; and in front of them is Barzakh until the Day when they will be resurrected.”

These are the verses where Allah describes the plight of the unsuccessful people in the Hereafter. These people had wasted their lives in this world by not being righteous and drawn towards the temptations, wrong doings and false deities of this world, that after they die when they finally see their deed of accounts in front of Allah, they shiver and shudder in fear. They in fact, beg their Lord to send them back to this world so that they may return and do good in this world. For now, after seeing the Truth and the Haq of Allah’s words, they believe with certainty and want to return to get more chances.

Allah also says:

“And if you only could see when the criminals shall hang their heads before their Lord (saying): “Our Lord! We have now seen and heard, so send us back, that we will do righteous good deeds. Verily, we now believe with certainty.”  (Surah As-Sajdah (32:12))

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However, once man dies, his time is done. Its too late for a second chance. Allah has definitely given man, innumerable chances, and all he had done was waste those opportunities and the Mercies that were bestowed upon him, taking everything that was given to him for granted. Another verse which explains this further is in Surah Ghafir (40:12) where Allah says,

 “Therein they will cry: “Our Lord! Bring us out, we shall do righteous good deeds, not what we used to do.” (Allah will reply:) “Did We not give you lives long enough, so that whosoever would receive admonition could receive it And the warner came to you. So taste you (the evil of your deeds). For the wrongdoers there is no helper.”

The In Between

In verse 100 of Surah Muminoon (quoted above) Allah says, “and in front of them is Barzakh until the Day when they will be resurrected”

Which brings me to the definition of what actually is Barzakh. According to Muhammed bin Ka’b:  “Al-Barzakh is what is between this world and the Hereafter, neither they are the people of this world, eating and drinking, nor are they with the people of the Hereafter, being rewarded or punished for their deeds.”

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So very clearly Allah explains to us that we will never be given a second chance to return to this world. Ever. After the death of a person, in front of them is the barrier from this world and the hereafter. There is no way that Allah would allow them to cross that barrier and enter into the present realm of this world. In addition, the second assurance is, where Allah confirms to us saying that until the day of Resurrection, dead people will be behind this barrier, full description of which only Allah has knowledge of. Barzakh is a place where the people will either suffer as per their wrongdoings in this world, or would enjoy the bliss of rewards as per the righteous acts that they do in this world.

These verses actually gives us some awakening notes, and points to ponder, making it the right time to WAKE UP:

  1. Life in this world is temporary. Our aim and efforts should be directed to the life in the Hereafter, which is permanent and definite. Our actions in this world is what will give us the rewards or the torments of the Barzakh and will decide our plight on the day of Resurrection (the day our bodies and souls will once again be united).
  2. Its thus high time for us to make efforts to do as much righteous deeds as we can. As and when you remember Allah, praise and glorify your Lord and seek forgiveness for whatever sins you do. If you do not wish to be amongst those that will be begging Allah to send you back to this world (an effortless plee once you die), then start today and change for the sake of YOUR life in the hereafter.
  3. And last but not the least, there is no such thing as ghosts or dead people walking around as dead aimless souls, in Islam. Enough of Quranic evidences suggest strongly against any such possibility.

May Allah help us all to be successful Muslims Inshallah in this world and the Hereafter. Aameen!

New Mums Don’t Stress!!

By: Iman Said

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Whether you are becoming a mother for the first time or adding to your brood, the prospect of being responsible for all the needs of another human being, can be incredibly overwhelming. While pregnant, you are concerned about meeting the needs of your growing baby, how labour is going to pan out, and trying to prepare yourself for the life-changing moment when you bring your son or daughter into this world. I found that I received a lot of advice about pregnancy and labour, what kind of nappies to buy, what to pack in my hospital bag and heard constant references to how I would ‘never sleep again.’

While advice on practical things like that is helpful, two years and two children later, I wished that people had given me advice on the more important things and told me a little more about what to expect and how to cope with it all. Here’s a list of things you may be feeling as a new mum, and ways to cope with the roller coaster of emotions. When you feel:tired-dad-multitasking1

  • Tired: If you have family or friends nearby who have offered to babysit or help you to clean or will cook for you – accept it. Don’t try to be a martyr. Use that time to rest and recuperate or even just to shower and maybe take a walk by yourself – whatever you need to do to catch your breath and feel a little like you again.

 

  • Scared: A lot of mums are terrified at the prospect of having to care for someone so little, especially with several reports of cot deaths and deaths caused by suffocation with plastic packaging or from unsecured furniture falling on top of children. Worrying is part of motherhood and is completely normal – it’s good to be aware of potential dangers inside and outside your home that your child can be exposed to and how to minimise the risk of something happening. As long as that does not turn into a debilitating kind of worry where you are unable to function properly, you are doing just fine. 

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  • Unattractive: Pregnancy takes a toll on our bodies – there’s no question about it. It takes 40 weeks for us to grow full term babies within our bodies and for all those hormonal, skin and other bodily changes to take place, so give your body that much time at the very least, to recover postpartum. When you look down at that soft belly and those stretch marks, instead of being disgusted, be grateful you were chosen to carry your children and proud that you did it and did it well.

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  • Overwhelmed: There are days where it can seem like there isn’t a start or end. Days that begin with feeding, changing, rocking a baby to sleep and repeat. Add to that laundry, cooking, cleaning, self-care and anything else that you need to get done and it is enough to overwhelm anyone. Take a deep breath. Tell yourself that what needs to get done, will get done and anything that doesn’t – there’s always tomorrow. If your baby is on some sort of a schedule, try and wake up about half an hour before they do. Just having 30 minutes to yourself, to wash up, throw some clothes on, do your hair, pray or meditate and have breakfast to yourself gives you a better start to the day and you will often find that the rest of the day pans out much better when you’ve had a good start.

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  • Confused: A lot of first time mums, and mums who have done it all before, can feel confused about various things from what dirty diapers should look like to how many feeds baby should be having to wondering why their belly button is red or what they should do for circumcision aftercare or how much tummy time they should introduce -the list is endless. No question is a stupid question. Knowledge is power, and the more you have, the better equipped you are to care for your child. Join baby forums online; learn from other mums who have babies the same age as yours and may be going through similar challenges. Speak to your health visitor or health care professional about any concerns you have, try not to Google symptoms that can lead to you being even more scared and confused. Your baby will go through several developmental phases and I found a resource called ‘The Wonder Weeks’ to be incredibly helpful in determining periods where I could expect my children to be crankier and clingier than usual, and I was able to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for them. This is available in app form too – so is handy to have on your phone.

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  • Guilty: I cannot remember a day in the past two years where I have not gone to bed feeling guilty that I did not do more, whether that is for the kids or my husband. It can be incredibly exhausting to always have to worry that you didn’t cuddle more, or that I had way too much screen time that day, or that you and your husband weren’t even able to have a conversation that wasn’t about the kids, but you are doing your best. For your family – that is more than enough. You don’t have to be perfect – because no one is, but to your children, you are amazing.

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The sleepless nights will end and will lead to weeks and months of ‘firsts’ and while the challenges may be different as they grow, the roller coaster ride of feelings, special moments and experiences will continue for as long as you are a mum. Remember that you are good enough, you are doing enough and you are mum enough.

**Iman is a work at home/ stay at home mum of two. A mother, wife and organising junkie – she blogs over at Andthenshesaid.com and Andthensheate.com, where she shares the beautiful, chaotic, ever-changing life journey that she’s on through her DIY, recipes and home organisation ramblings.

 

To Share or not to Share…

This is the question we all are faced with several times everyday as we go through the various applications in our phones, be it Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Blogs etc..The question of whether to share a piece of information or forward a message to your friends. It just takes a matter of seconds to make the decision but we fail to realise on how great its consequences can be.

We receive so many messages that Prophet (saws) said this and the other, but there is no authentication to these hadith. Even though there is no reference to where the hadith is derived from, we accept it just because Prophet (saws) name is mentioned. We then forward it to our friends feeling satisfied that we have done a good deed. Did you know that there are so many hadith out there that are fabricated and categorised as weak.

Salamah Ibn Al-Akwa (RAA) narrated: I heard the Prophet (saws) saying : ‘ Whoever (intentionally) ascribes to me what I have not said then ( surely) let him occupy his seat in Hell- fire’. (Al Bukhari)

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Then there are the comical messages where there is threat of Allah’s punishment or some misfortune befalling you if you do not forward the message. I wonder how the originator of  the messasge came to that conclusion because I have never come across a hadith or Quran ayah reprimanding a person who does not forward an Islamic Whatsapp message.

Most people get frightened at the sight of such threats and quickly forward it thinking what if it comes true. Do you think that Allah is going to have a calamity transpire on you just because you did not forward a message? Doesn’t it sound cynical? So don’t get deceived by these gimmicks people use to make sure you share the content with others. Of course you might earn some merit from sharing a valid message with the intention of guiding a Muslim.

Similarly, there is the message promising some blessing of  Allah in your life for sharing it with ten people. What happens I wonder if I share it with only nine people. Am I still qualified for the reward ? If  I keep getting ten such messages everyday and do as told I think I can end up being very prosperous in life.

We fail to observe our basic five daily prayers at the proper time and in the proper manner, but give so much more importance to earning Allah’s favour by moving our finger to forward a message!!!!!!!!!!!

We spend so much of our time going through this overload of information but find it difficult to find the time to do some zikr, read the Quran or do the sunnah and nawafil prayers.

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What is happening to us??????

Don’t let technology lead your life? Don’t let it cloud your thoughts and reasoning? Don’t let it make a fool out of you. Be smart and use it right!!!