By: Mass Zainab Usuf
Choices, choices, choices…every where we look there are tons of choices to choose from now a days. I distinctly remember not having so many choices back in the day. From food and drinks to what we watched on TV. Everything has turned into a competition and everyone is hell bent on wanting to outdo the other. People strive to make something better than others or their own previous creations and thus has popped up the dilemma of endless choices.
You may think having choices is a good thing, as we are able to weigh in our options and obtain exactly what we like and we are thereby happy. That may be true. But growing up having limited choices had its own advantages as well. It sort of molded us into the matured, hardworking beings that we are today. Here are some of the reasons as to how limited choices had it’s advantages:
1. What do you want to watch?
Tom and Jerry, Popeye – The sailor man, Woody wood pecker are some old time favorites. The cartoons were aired at a fixed time in the evenings and after that were TV shows for adults and world news etc. Cos of this fixed time for kids shows, all the siblings had to settle in front of the TV for about 1 or 2 hours to watch the cartoon. Cartoons of certain kinds were shown on particular days, at particular times and of course we knew the schedules in our heads. Or we check the Sunday paper for the weeks Tv schedule.
No kid now wants to watch those old , poor quality cartoons, and why would they want to when you have 360p to HD YouTube videos and so many cartoon channels that are on for 24 hours on cable tv, day and night. Is there something wrong with that?? I mean cartoon is available when ever your child is fussy or when your out and you want to keep your child distracted. But no, and a BIG no it is, this readily available facility has actually spoiled them and us. They know cartoon exists at anytime and is accessible anywhere as long as someone has a device. Therefore they ask for it constantly too. They know that if they get bored they can just watch something.
How was it different before??
Those days while at home we had to play and figure out ways to keep ourselves busy until our cartoon time approached, our parents dealt with us when we were fussy and when we got bored we sparked up a conversation with who ever was with us.
Kids loose the ability to stick to a schedule for entertainment, or the excitement of waiting for something interesting so eagerly the whole day. Also the siblings watch different shows on different devices or different channels when there shows are on and loose that togetherness of watching cartoons, or spending memorable times together as a family.
2. What do you want to eat?
“Picky eaters our little ones are” is one of the most commonly heard statements these days and why wouldn’t it be. For the different kinds of choices that are available now. They can be picky until they find a flavour they like, or simply the right colour of the food they like. But if we were picky back in our days. We’d have to go to sleep hungry. Back then food was made and we had to eat it whether we liked it or not. Mummy wasn’t going to cook you a buffet to choose from and there was no delivery guy or uber eats to bring you somthing you preferred just in time to save you. That way we had to eat the food cooked and we learned to automatically follow that rule and adjust with what we have. We learnt to be greatful for food, value our meals and not waste.
Now with apps that deliver us food with such ease. All it takes is your fingertips to choose. Our choices have drastically increased (from having only mummy’s home made dinner) and inversely proportionally our activity has decreased. We get irritable when what we want isn’t available on the app, despite the hundred other choices present. And on top of that when we do get the food we ordered, we critic it like we are judges on a masterchef tv show. We have forgotten to value food and just appreciate the fact that we have food to eat, appreciate the choices available to us. But we are humans..we keep wanting more and more and it has to be better than before each time. Our greed has outdone our values.
3. What do you need to buy?
Lost a pencil? Buy a new one. Lost a eraser? Buy another one. Lost your hair band? Let’s go shopping. The value for things has also been taken for granted now. The moment something is lost all efforts of tirelessly looking for it are no more, the days of frantically lifting sofas and cushions looking for it are over. Just get a new one.
I remember during my time the box of new pencils was kept in my mothers cupboard and we were given a new pencil only when ours got so short we had to put a pen cap so it was a bit longer to hold. That box of new pencils was so precious. Even seeing it we felt an excitement…”new pencilss!!! So many of them!! Aaahhhhhhh” even though one is all we would be getting. Therefore we looked after our items well, took care of it and if we by chance happened to loose it. We would search and search till we found it. This attitude of struggle and not giving up is not found in kids now a days. Unless its their phone that they have lost, but then again give it a call and there you go…you’ve found it. Effortless.
4. Which app to call on?
Three words..Land line calls. What a time to live in. When the phone rings and behold! It’s a call for you. And no you cant hang on the line for as long as you wished, cos you’d be keeping the line engaged. Discipline was at it’s peak when personalised technology wasn’t readily available to all. No one used to hang on the phone for hours simple because they were bored. All calls were directed to the house phone. We’d have to go through our friends entire family answering the calls before it reached them. Parents had an idea of who our friends were. What their names were and who you are in touch with. And the thrill of waiting to see your friends the next day in school was unexplainable. But mobile phones destroyed that beautiful tradition of landline calls and communication. Who needs to call when you can text with emojis. Who needs to only see friends at school when yo can video call and exchange endless pics in your friend groups….Whatsapp, Skype, Facebook messenger…you name it. I’ll download it.
With all the advancement in technology, dreaming the impossible and achieving it isn’t a hurdle anymore. Everything is possible as long as you will for it to happen. But their are so many options to choose from. So many ways to learn from. So many possibilities that doing absolutely nothing productive during free time seems to be the best. We are so overwhelmed and provided with so many choices that knowing all this exists makes us take them for granted and thereby creating this sense of “it’ll always be there” …”ill start from tomorrow attitude”.
Limited choices taught us to be able to adjust, work with what we have, value them, and learn to deal with things we don’t like and still be able to put up with them. Not to forget somehow limited choices helped the family to be closer and made society better. Choices may be effortless and make us happy with exactly what we want almost like it’s tailor made to suit our needs. But who are we kidding. We all know the world used to be a better place before with a handful of choices than what it is now with limitless choices!
Re-experiencing the trauma through intrusive distressing recollections of the event, flashbacks, and nightmares.
From small days as Muslim kids we are taught to do certain things before bed, such as dust the bed three times, to recite the three kuls, blow on ourselves and then sleep on our right side. These practices are also slowly being forgotten and us preoccupied adults dont do them. To help you sleep better or fall asleep as PTSD makes falling asleep a bit scary, play the quran on your phone on speaker, just low enough for you to hear. You may not have the quran app or may not have touched a quran since forever. But its k. Just play a small surah on loop about 3 times. By then you should have fallen asleep and your phone will stop playing after a while too. So you dont have to worry about your phone charge going down. I find the recitation by Mu’ayyid al-Mazen to be very soothing. you can listen to it here and give it a try.
Similarly the wudhu or ablution performed with water before every prayer also has its benefits. Ablution makes our heart and mind calm and is able to eliminate anger. It also gives a sense of freshness. You dont have to pray after this ablution. Its just a way to make you feel cleansed, fresh, calm and relaxed. whenever you feel angry, sad, hurt or upset just go and perform ablution.
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