By: Noorul Soraya
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him; and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honour.” (Surah Al-Isra’ – 17/23)
The Holy Quran emphasizes in many Surahs, Allah decree on the treatment of our parents to be a mandatory act than a mere duty. He has very clearly said that loving and caring for our parents comes right next to accepting His Oneness. In the above surah and in many other surahs related to parents, Allah places parents immediately after Him which goes to stress the depth of reverence that Allah Himself pays to parents. He is more or less compelling us to care for our parents as a part of our Islamic belief.
The Prophet Muhammed (PBUH), His Apostle, in his many hadiths echoes Allah decree with great reverence too. Therefore, it can be deemed that paying heed to those authentic voices from the Quran and the Prophet (PBUH) on caring for parents is part and parcel of being a Muslim; it is a `vital’ part of being a human being.
Every parent has their divine right to expect his or her children to care for them when they are aged and/or disabled. Looking out for parents used to be a traditional act that came down automatically from generation to generation. Lately, this feeling of tradition is slowly being replaced by a more modern and mechanical way of caring which is devoid of human interaction; they seem to be mere pawns on a chessboard that could be pushed around to the whims and fancies of children. A lack of understanding between past and current generations may be a cause for this confusion.
Parents’ love towards their children is unconditional and limitless from the moment a child enters this world. It is a mother’s warmth that embraces a new born child first. It is a fact to mention that the Quran states that Islam makes special mention of mothers for their endurance during hardship and suffering before, during and after childbirth. It is also narrated that the Prophet (PBUH) said that “Paradise lies at the feet of mothers” which stresses how much mothers need to be treated with love, gratitude and honour. A status of a mother is three times more than a father.
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah (RA) said:
A man came to Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) and asked, “Which of the people is most deserving of my best companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Hadith No. 5971, Book of Al-Adab, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8; Hadith No. 6500 (2548), Book of Al-Birr, Sahih Muslim, Vol. 6).
Parents love unreservedly. Age or marital statuses of their children play no part in this equation; to a parent, a child will always remain a child until death parts them. It is every parent’s intention to give their best to their children even at the cost of their own well being and happiness. They struggle, sacrifice and push themselves beyond their limits to simply fulfill their desires and beliefs that they need to provide their children with love and security with everything they possess. How does one reconcile such a selfless giving?
Home for the Aged are thriving businesses filled with helpless mothers and fathers, who once hoped to be loved and cherished like they did their own children. This sight is a reality check.
Lack of proper religious training and a principled upbringing are causing confusion amongst the youth of today. Pushed to strive for excellence in every other aspect of their lives, the youth today, a breed between two generations, are fast losing their ability to nurture proper values in respect to caring for parents. While they lay emphasis on securing an academic qualification, little or nothing is done to cultivate a sound religious education which is also crucial to maintain a balance personality. It is important that parents take the responsibility of inculcating true Islamic values so that children are not led astray, left emotionally unattended and lost amidst worldly accumulations.
Parents should never be taken for granted, be tools of negotiation or be stop-gap measures to fix situations. The youth of today must be educated about the important message of caring for the parents as a part of their religious belief and upbringing. It is only then that we are able to teach them about patience, tolerance, understanding, and above all to engrave in their hearts that loving and caring for parents is an act of divinity and that any God fearing Muslim should follow.
Love and care for your parents for, it can only bring you good tidings. Be grateful to Allah for blessing us with parents for, He bestowed upon us His love and His promise of Paradise through them.
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